Best Corny Dad Jokes

 

• "Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"
• "My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"
  
• "How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."
• "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."
• "I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
• "What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."
• "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
• "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."
• "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."
• "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
• "This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."
• "Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire."
• "What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
• "How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."
• "What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!"
• "How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it."
• "Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!"
• "What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
• "What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!"
• "How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together."