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Best Corny Dad Jokes

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  "Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!" "My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!" "How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut." "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up." "I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something." "What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows." "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!" "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired." "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me." "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot." "This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in." "Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire."
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Davido outburst as he hits a million views at " risky" on Youtube in less than 48 hours

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Nigerian superstar, David Adedeji Adeleke, a.k.a Davido has expressed excitement over his new song ‘Risky’ that hit one million views on YouTube. The music star, who could not hide his joy took to his Instagram page to express how excited he was, also appreciated his fans for their immense support. He wrote; RISKY!!! WORLDWIDE ANTHEM!! KEEEP STREAMING !! JUST A DAY IN AND BANGIN IN EVERY CORNER OF THE WORLD!!!! LOVE U GUYS!! MY ALBUM PRE ORDER DROPS TOMORO!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ‘A GOOD TIME’ ������������✈️✈️�����. The  News Agency of Nigeria  reports that good news keeps flowing for the music star, who just welcomed his first son, who he named, David Adedeji Ifeanyi Adeleke Jr. Davido is one of the Nigerian music stars, who has contributed immensely to the entertainment industry with his numerous songs, thereby, making the industry great. The music star happens to be the first African-based artist to have received his award on the BET Awards main stage. Davido’s award was present
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BREAKING: Court remands Maina in prison

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A Federal High Court, Abuja, has ordered the remand of the embattled former chairman of the Pension Reforms Task Team, Abdulrasheed Maina, in prison custody. Justice Okon Abang granted the remand order following a request by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission after he pleaded not guilty to the 12 counts. The judge consequently adjourned untill October 30 for trial and November 19 for suitability of his application for bail filed before arraignment.    Maina is facing charges of money laundering, operating fictitious bank accounts and fraud.
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Ronaldo’s Juve On The Verge Of Breaking 88 Years Old Record

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Juventus have been high flying in the new campaign, they made it 6 wins from 6 games in their domestic league yesterday by beating Bologna 2-0. Should they win their next match against Napoli on Saturday, then they would have bettered their own 88 years old record of 6 wins from 6 matches. Their summer superstar was although unable to add to his tally, he was simply unplayable by the away side in the contest. Bologna only lasted for 11 minutes before Argentine international, Dybala, opened the scoring with a beautiful acrobatic kick. Cristiano Ronaldo was credited with the assist of the second goal after he scuffled his shot and Matuidi was on hand to bundle the rebound home from close range.
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Graphic Background (SET A)

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Download 3D Smart Graphics Image and background.
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CR7 finally receives good news after tough week

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Cristiano Ronaldo is set to face Manchester United despite being sent off on his Champions League debut for Juventus . Ronaldo saw red after appearing to pull the hair of Valencia defender Jeison Murillo during Wednesday night’s clash. However, UEFA sources have suggested that the mandatory one-game suspension is unlikely to be extended to a two or three matches which would have ruled him out of an emotional return to Old Trafford on October 23 and Juve’s home game against Jose Mourinho’s team on November 7. European football’s governing body have opened disciplinary proceedings against Ronaldo – who left the field in tears – and the case will be dealt with by their control, ethics and disciplinary panel next Thursday. There is no right of appeal over the one-game ban but sources say that disciplinary officials, who have viewed television footage of the incident, do not regard Ronaldo’s indiscretion as worthy of an increased punishment, even though he took a long time to leave the
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Cristiano Ronaldo ban: How many Champions League matches will Juventus star miss after red card?

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The Portugal international was shown his very first red card in Europe's premier club competition after he appeared to pull the hair of defender Jeison Murillo. Ronaldo was astonished at the decision to the point that he was even reduced to tears as his first return to Spain since his departure from Real Madrid turned sour. A fairytale return to Old Trafford is on the cards at October 23, but Ronaldo will now be sweating over the prospect of missing a reunion with his former employers. He will certainly miss Juve's next encounter, against Young Boys, on October 2 in Turin. Ronaldo cannot appeal his ban, but faces an anxious wait to see if that suspension will be extended by UEFA. THE GAMES CR7 MIGHT MISS Date     Opponent      Venue 1. Oct 2   Young Boys.  Allianz Stadium 2. Oct 23  Manchester United Old Trafford, Were it to be extended to two games, he would sit out the Old Trafford clash, and a three-game ban would see him fail to face United at all, either in Manch
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